Dear Therapists, Counselors & Healers: You are Enough.

Photo Credit: Anh Nguyen

Dear Healers, Social Workers, Clinical Colleagues, and fellow Mental Health Professionals,

This for you.

This is a soul centered letter of acknowledgment and encouragement during this challenging time of COVID-19.

This is a message for those of us who are often unacknowledged during this intense time of world trauma. We who keep it together as best we can, even when it feels like our cheese is ready to slip off our damn cracker.

I want you to know that you are enough. These heartfelt words are for you, from my heart to your own: I see you, I hear you, I empathize with you, I acknowledge you, I support you.

I see you…

• I see the way you pour yourself into your counseling work for hours each day, day after day, week after week, month after month as a world wide pandemic spikes higher and higher all around us.

• I see the way you show up bravely and hold space for your clients who are terrified, confused and angry, even as you work through your own feelings of fear, confusion and anger behind the scenes.

• I see how you comfort those grieving for the loved ones they have lost to COVID, even as you may be grieving your own heartbreaking losses.

• I see how you are doing your best to advocate and support marginalized and abused people and use your voice…even when all you have left is a whisper some days.

I hear you…

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• I hear you in my heart and during our coaching and consulting calls - the anxiety you have about your own health, your loved one’s health, your finances, about sustaining and supporting a small business during this unprecedented time.

• I hear your fears about supporting your staff, your family, your colleagues and your clients.

• I hear your voice cracking or trembling with frustration, exhaustion and uncertainty.

• I hear your sadness at saying goodbye to people in your life who are unwilling to heal and grow in the areas of homophobia, racism and sexism.

• I hear your heart wrenching grief at not being by your loved one’s side as they passed away from COVID-19 and your howl of pain at not being able to attend their funeral.

• I hear your disappointment as you share that dreams and professional events had to be postponed.

• I hear your resolve, your strength, your resiliency, your determination and yes, your humor and hope as well.

I empathize with you…

Photo Credit: Mehrpouya

• I empathize with you who have received news of your clients suicide attempts or suicides.

• I empathize with the feelings of care, concern, connection and support each of us work so hard to extend to the clients who trust us.

• I empathize with your worries about your family, your friends and your community.

• I empathize with your feelings of frustration at the selfishness and entitlement we are witnessing.

• I empathize with your loneliness if you have been sheltering in solo. Weeks that have now blended into months. I truly understand.
  

• I empathize with your less than diplomatic or unkind moments on social media. If I see you comment harshly, I will not judge, and I hope that you’ll extend that to me. We are humans having human moments in the midst of a trauma filled pandemic. Sometimes shit is going to hit the fan and we will be less than lovely in those spaces.

• I empathize with the lack of sleep, the increased stress, the pressure of holding it together.

• I empathize with the apathy you may be feeling, the days that feel bleak and pointless.

• I empathize with the outrage many of us are feeling as we witness the absolute worst behaviors in the people.

• I empathize with the disgust many of us are experiencing witnessing people in our country who continue to support nonsense and conspiracy theories, even those in leadership.

• I empathize with the trauma that you are experiencing, the dreams, the racing thoughts, the anger.

• I empathize with the disappointment, shock and horror you are experiencing watching people, maybe people you once trusted and respected, refuse to follow the most basic safety protocols.

I acknowledge you…

Photo Credit: Siavash Ghanbari

• I acknowledge the challenges in working from home. Though I am a Certified Telehealth Therapist and have worked with my clients exclusively via Telehealth for many years, for many of my colleagues, this transition has been traumatic and frightening.

• I acknowledge that you may be sheltering in with an abusive spouse or partner, or you were in the process of a divorce or separation that is now postponed.

• I acknowledge that you may be living in a crappy situation where you don’t have a comfortable or private environment, or basic needs like air conditioning, heat, or nature.

• I acknowledge the frustrations of managing new tasks like homeschooling, or feeling like a full time cook.

• I acknowledge that your hard ass work as a single parent goes unnoticed by many.

• I acknowledge that you may have given birth or are ready to give birth soon, and that you are likely feeling concern and worry at a level that no other expecting parent has ever felt in our lifetime.

• I acknowledge that you or your partner, spouse, child or loved one may have an underlying condition which makes you vulnerable and that you are understandably scared.

• I acknowledge that those of us trying to do our part as responsible citizens are being called names, spit on, bullied and ridiculed for doing the right thing, or wearing a mask in public.

• I acknowledge the sadness in having to see your children and family members move through milestones such as graduations, weddings, and other important occasions without you present.

• I acknowledge that your partner or spouse may be falling apart before your eyes and you feel alone and helpless.

• I acknowledge that it absolutely sucks to have to cancel holiday or vacation plans and time with family and friends.

• I acknowledge that you may be feeling shame for having to let go of an office space. I call that wisdom, but also understand that it can be heartbreaking.

• I acknowledge that you may feel ashamed because you are now slipping in your recovery. I implore you to reach out for help. You are not alone, there are therapists out there (myself included) who will not judge you. Instead they will help and support you with compassion.

• I acknowledge that you may be feeling envious watching colleagues doing well, or creating things, or writing books, or pursuing certifications, or presenting at online conferences, or prospering while you struggle. This blog may even bring up some of those feelings…and that’s OK. I’ve been there too.

• I acknowledge that we therapists and mental health healers are working on the front lines in different but equally important ways as are our doctors, nurses and paramedics. However, we are very rarely acknowledged in public or private as front line workers.

• I acknowledge the toll that this is taking on all of us in the mental health field.

I support you…

Photo Credit: Melanie Wasser

• I support your on going efforts in trying to keep your cheese from falling off of your cracker.

• I support your need to be human and let go of perfect. Now more than ever.

• I support your gifts and talents that may feel dormant currently. Don’t worry, they’ll find you again.

• I support your faith in a higher power. And I understand if God or your higher power is the last thing on your mind right now…even if those around you are telling you that you need to pray more/worship more/read your bible or religious books more/have more faith/more-more-more.
  
  I am pretty your your higher power and my higher power (Christ for me) isn’t sitting in judgment of how we are walking our faith right now. Let the blessings fall around you and please let go of self judgement in this area.

• I support your need for deeply intentional self care, whatever that means to you right now.

• I support your desire to eat chocolate, carbs, binge on Netflix, and skip the on line yoga class.

• I support your desire to eat healthy, drink lots of water, get out in nature and attend the online yoga class.

• I support your awesome efforts in doing your part to flatten this virus.

• I support you setting up boundaries with toxic or unhealthy people in your life. That includes friends, family members and colleagues. Sometimes a boundary may be to terminate contact and that’s OK as well.

• I support your willingness to stick a mask on your face to protect others. None of us like wearing masks. Not a single one of us. Yet, look at you and me doing it anyway. I just love you so much for that small sacrifice.

• I support your selfless choices to not attend gatherings at this time. And I mega support your efforts at keeping the whining about it to a minimum (though, truth be told, I do have some whine with my cheese at least once a week).

• I support your willingness to bookmark attending parties, and waiting on crowding in with others in order to support safety for yourself, your loved ones and your community.

• I support your bad ass advocacy in speaking your truth in supporting important movements.

• I support your healer’s heart, your good days, your shitty days, your stories, you.

Dear colleague and healer,

In closing, I see you. Please remember that you are enough. I am enough. I am grateful for you. Together we will get through this extraordinary and incredibly challenging time my fellow frontline mental health workers.

Photo credit: Laura Dewilde

Let’s stay connected, remind each other to stay grounded, and be gentle with yourself and with each other.

Your voice is welcomed in the comment section below. Say hi, shoot up a flare, drop an F bomb, do you. And if you are a therapist reading this, or you love a therapist, or you posted a meme on social media today, please consider sharing this message as well on your page to support our fellow healers.

With kindness, respect and support,
Mari

P.S. For the record, my cheese is still on my cracker, though somedays it does slip right to the freaking edge. Thought that was important to share. Human being here. xo